The Things Tom and Lisa Say

We were chilling watching Pokémon when Ash was fighting Ekruteak’s gym:

Ash: Noctowl! Use Foresight!!

Tom: Noctowl! Bruce Forsyth!!

DEAR GOD.

“Should have closed the windows, my nipples could sink the Titanic.”

-Tom

Lisa: “Tom, I think I have a problem. Like a creepy thing I have to do to make my self feel comfortable, kinda like when kids suck their thumb…”

“He’s like a little foetus, but a dog…and not little.”

“What’s spooning called if you’re facing each other? That’s hugging isn’t it?”

…Ohh Tom.

We were in Leeds and I’d just been to Greggs and bought an incredible chicken bake. It was far too good for saving, so I ate as we walked. Lisa turns to me as I’ve just pulled the immaculate bake away from my mouth and without hesitation says,”are you feeling alright? You’re looking a bit… Pastry.” I was slightly shellshocked, as I wiped the pastry from my face, by the gem she’d just dropped. Incred.

So we’re sat in the car going in to town driving quite fast down a busy A-road and we hear the beep of a car horn. We realise there is a man dressed in a suit that has just reached the other side of the road, after recklessly running across where there is no crossing. Tom turns to me with a stupid grin on his face, ”That guy must have been trying to commit suiticide”…


*facepalm*

Tom and Lisa.

When we were 14.